Afraid of failure no more.

So it was the middle of 2007 and I was getting ready for yet another move. This meant going through everything I had and tossing out what I felt like was unnecessary, in hopes to simplify my life. This is a habit of mine that sometimes backfires, and I admit there are times I end up spending hours and hours searching for that something only to regret tossing it in the garbage.

But I digress... I was looking through my boxes of wallets and organizers, which is the only thing that I never toss out, and I noticed a little folded piece of paper tucked in the credit card slots. On the paper, it had a list of goals I made myself for the year of 2005, also known as new year resolution. I remember sitting at the bf's house writing these down hoping that a year later, I would be able to cross off them off list. But here I am, looking through this list 2+ years later, only to find that not 1 of them had been fulfilled. That's when I realized that was the last year I made a new year resolution. I didn't like the way that the new year resolution made me feel at the end of the year and how it reminded me that I've failed. From that year on out, I always believed that new year resolutions were over-rated, cause I was afraid, cause I didn't want a list telling me that something I didn't need to hear.

This year, I'm taking a different route. Rather than making a long list of things I need to improve on, I will write down 1 main goal I want to reach by the end of the year, and I'll break it down to smaller goals to make my main goal a little attainable, make sense? This was, even if I can't cross off my goal at the end of the year, I'm able to see that I'm making a progress toward the goal and I'm totally okay with that.

And no, I'm not making a new year resolution, it's just a goal. I still think new year resolutions are over-rated and I think it's jinxed so I refuse to call it a new year resolution. :)

Photography had me at hello

What is it about photography that struck a cord with me?
That's the question that I've been asking to myself since the day I realized I was totally drawn to it, that it was something special to me.

Looking through the view finder, I see things differently. When I starting Project 365 (which I failed miserably if I may add) I realized that the world looked different depending on how I chose to look at it.

I've been driving the same streets for the past 9 years to get to and from work, walk the same pavement to get from the parking lot to my office building then took my 15 min. break at same spot, saw the same old friends.., you get my drift, right? When I decided to start P365, I was afraid of 1 thing, that there wasn't anything remotely interesting to photograph EVERYDAY but I knew I had to give it a shot for what it was worth, if I wanted to learn. So I dragged the camera around everywhere I went. Soon enough, I realized that there were a lot of things 'photo-worthy' if I just paid attention. That even a pebbled pavement can evoke some kind of emotion and tell a story and that in single millisecond while you press the shutter, you can capture the perfect connection between 2 people that a human eye can only miss. And that is the reason why I fell in love with this thing called photography, cause in a sense, I can freeze time, just like Evie from Out of this world and tell my story.

So why did I fail so miserably at P365? Well, that's a whole other story.... ;)

Resting period

I spent the all of 2007+2008 devoting my life to Label Tulip.
Having a full time job and a business to run was no easy task. At times, I felt that I was being unfair to both and my personal life was completely left on the back burner.
One day I realized that something had to change. I started the company because I wanted to do something that I loved, for a change, but now I found myself constantly asking if this is something I truly enjoyed.
At the beginning of 2009, I had officially stepped down.

2009 was a resting year for me, for my mind and body. I spent the year only doing what I wanted to do, other than my 9-5 job, whether that was lounging around watching TV, browsing flickr endlessly, or hanging out with the bf. When people ask me 'what have you been doing' I was happy to say "I've seriously been doing NOTHING." It felt good to not work till 4-5am in the morning only to wake up at 9am to go to work the next morning. It felt good to not have to sleep till 3pm on the weekends due to my lack of sleep during the week. Finally, I was able to somewhat enjoy my life again.

Now that we're nearing 2010, I think I've had enough time to rest. :)
I'm ready for what 2010 will bring.
I'm ready to follow my passion again, whatever that may be...

In the shop again..

My camera that is.. Having some focus issues so thought I'd take it in for some repair. Perhaps, it's time for an upgrade? ;)

And because a photo-less post is boring and TWO photo-less post in a row is even more boring, I'll leave you with this. :)


Ahh~, a rare sign of autumn seen in LA. :)

Who am I kidding?

I often think about writing a post here but it never makes it onto paper (or the internet in this case) in fear of being judged.

I'm not that witty when it comes to words and a lot of the times, I find it hard to put my thoughts into the perfect words. Writing has never been my forte and have yet to find my voice and the thought of someone reading my blog and judging me makes me uncomfortable.

But really, does it matter? Yes, I'm the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve but shouldn't I try to get over that?! Anyway, is anyone even reading this thing? That's what I try to tell myself on a daily basis, so that I can get up the nerve to put up a post just as my outlet, a paragraph, a sentence, or even just a pretty picture.. Just for me.

Another round of inspiration

Internet is a POWERFUL thing. Sure, I always find myself hours in front of the computer until my eyes hurt, spending more than enough time going from one website to another but then some days it really pays off. It may be pictures or a few words and something just clicks, it just does.

Today it was this. sigh.


Ok here I come, I'm ready for another round of inspiration.

Project 365, starting back up

Since I got my camera back last weekend, I've been thrilled start this project back up, it seems like forever ago since I had a camera in my hands and it sure feels good... *sigh.

52/365 l Feb 22, 2009 l xti l 17-50mm@44mm l 2.8 l 1/250sec l iso 100

51/365 l Feb 21, 2009 l xti l 17-50mm@33mm l f3.5 l 1/1000sec l iso 100

50/365 l Feb 20, 2009 l xti l 17-50mm@47mm l f 3.5l 1/250sec l iso 400

49/365 l Feb 19, 2009 l xti l 50mm l f3.2 l 1/250sec l iso 100

48/365 l Feb 18, 2009 l xti l 50mm l f1.8 l 1/100sec l iso 1600

47/365 l Feb 17, 2009 l xti l 50mm l f2.2 l 1/100sec l iso 1600

46/365 l Feb 16, 2009 l xti l 50mm l f2.2 l 1/1250sec l iso 200
all Viewfinder frame by Paislee Press

Lesson learned.

It all started last Thursday when one of my friends came over to bake our bf's some cookies for valentines day.
Just so all of you guys know, I'm not a big cooker, and although I occasionally cook and bake, I'm no master of such things but I can mimick fairly well, or so I thought, ha!
So when I read the very simple recipe, I thought, no-biggie!
It all seemed simple, maybe too simple.
Till everything went wrong.
But after 4 different batches and 7 hours later, we somehow managed to pull it off, lol! and beautifully if I may add. :)
Here's a glimpse of our chaos! (all the photos below were taken with my camera phone so please excuse the horrible quality.)


And the final product! My bf hates anything too sweet so I made him the plain heart shaped butter cookies while my friend's bf got the pretty ones with strawberry jam center!

Viewfinder frame by Paislee Press

To sum up the experience, here's what I learned about baking through this insane baking experience. I'm no patissier but I guess this is a good lesson learned. :)

-Read and FOLLOW directions carefully STEP BY STEP. Just because everything will end up being mixed together at the end, it doesn't mean that you can just mix them up together all at once! There is a reason why you should mix certain ingredients first so FOLLOW the directions!
-Be sure to not mistake 1/4 teaspoon of salt for 1/4 cup of salt or you'll end up with one salty batch of cookies!
-Make sure to double check if you have enough sugar and flour cause you'll most likely need more than what you have in your cupboard.
-Use a wax paper under your dough when cutting with a cookie cutter so it won't get stuck!
-If you don't know what you're doing, search google or watch some baking videios on youtube.

Other than that, my valentine's day with the bf was fabulous, the best v-day so far; it involved rose petals, candles, a new steak house, wine, heart shaped meat balls made by my bf, and my new 66" friend! :)
(Okay, I'm not normally the stuff animal type of gal but Patrick has been an exception as long as I can remember! )


In other news, I picked up my camera on Sunday and it's in working condition, (yay!) so no more crappy photos in my future blog posts, lol!!